


What Do You Want?

by swanqueenfic13



Series: Aca-Song Fics [10]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Based on a song, F/F, Road Trip, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Unrequited Love, non-canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 18:11:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7542820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanqueenfic13/pseuds/swanqueenfic13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a request from RatedTForTrash based on the song "What Do You Want" by Justin Jay & Friends ft. Josh Taylor and Benny Bridges. (It's best to have the song playing in the background as you read.)</p><p>After the ICCA Finals, Beca kisses Jesse. Then, she goes on a road trip and kisses Chloe. And she needs to figure out what she wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Do You Want?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RatedTForTrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RatedTForTrash/gifts).



> The things bolded and in italics are the song lyrics!

This was not how Chloe planned to celebrate her ICCA win.

That night, Chloe had gotten stupid drunk with the rest of the girls. She didn’t have to tell anyone that she was also drinking to forget Beca’s kiss with Jesse after their performance; they all knew of Chloe’s feelings for the freshman. Drunk and uncaring, Chloe was celebrating. She was happy. All the next morning she slept off the hangover and ended up celebrating again with the school during the afternoon. She went out that night and came home with some boy from the Barden baseball team.

But the next morning, Beca woke her at nine. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she begged Chloe to go on a road trip with her. She already had her bags packed and her dad had taken her dorm things. She had a suitcase ready to go. Chloe took ten minutes to throw the last of her clothes in a duffel and put on something clean- all of her other things had already been shipped to her house.

“Beca, what’s happened? What’s wrong?” Chloe asks as she takes Beca to her little blue Toyota Corolla. Beca just shakes her head. “Please, Becs, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t… Please, let’s just… I just need to get away. Please?” Beca whimpers, shaking her hands as if physically trying to push away the words and questions. So Chloe nods and just drives. She keeps driving with no real destination, just going. When it gets dark, they pull into a motel and Chloe books a room. In the privacy of their shared room, she calls Aubrey and explains where she went and why she had to postpone their beach trip at Chloe’s family summer house on Block Island, Rhode Island. Beca was in the bathroom taking a shower.

“She isn’t talking to you?” Aubrey asks. Chloe glances from the one bed in the room (not that Chloe would really mind snuggling with Beca for tonight) to the bathroom to make sure Beca wasn’t coming out yet.

“Well, she’s talking. Just not about  _ why _ it was so urgent we go on this road trip. She talks about… the music and the… where we should go, like… what food we should eat. Nothing important. I wonder could it… you think it’s about Jesse?” 

“Chloe, don’t get your hopes up,” Aubrey warns.

“I’m  _ not _ ,” Chloe hisses insistently. “It’s… Not… It’s the logical explanation! She kisses him and two days later she’s crying and begging me to take her away. It makes sense!”

“Fine… Maybe it does. But, it could have been an argument with her dad. Or a bad grade on an exam. Anything could have happened!” Chloe hears the shower turn off.

“I gotta go, Bree. She’s getting out of the shower. Just hang around with my neighbors on the island, or something. Or find a deserted stretch of beach and ignore everything. I’m slowly getting her up North and we’ll meet you there, okay?” Chloe whispers. Hanging up, she settles onto the bed and watches TV while Beca comes out.

“Hey Becs,” Chloe grins, not looking up from the TV. “I was just on the phone with Bree. She’s on Block Island in my family’s summer house, and we were- mmm!” Beca cuts her off with her lips, effectively silence Chloe. She had crawled onto the bed and tilted Chloe’s chin towards her. Chloe wasn’t paying attention until Beca kissed her.

It was nice, kissing Beca. For a moment, Chloe kept her eyes open. In those few seconds, she noticed a few very important things about this moment. First: Beca was still naked, in just a towel. Second: she was dripping onto the carpet which really shouldn’t bother Chloe right now, but Beca is dripping water onto the carpet and the bed and everywhere. Third and most importantly: Beca wasn’t holding the towel properly and it slipped leaving her  _ very _ naked. So Chloe closed her eyes and let herself focus on the feeling.

Beca tasted like soap, clean and beautiful and new. Her lips moved like they were meant for Chloe’s, like she meant something. And when Beca slipped her tongue into her mouth, Chloe couldn’t help but moan. It felt stupid, and cheap. But it felt great. And Chloe’s hands shook as she reached out to touch Beca, one hand holding towel clad skin, the other hand on Beca’s back. She pulled away, gasping for air with Beca’s hands still on her hips.

“What… What was that?” Chloe pants, still close enough to smell that scent that was undeniably  _ Beca _ . Blinking, Chloe noticed the tears on Chloe’s cheeks. “Hey, hey, why are you crying? What did… Was it something I did?”

“No, it’s just… I can’t… I can’t talk about this right now. I need- I need to  _ think _ . I… I’m getting dressed.” And she stands, hitching the towel tighter around her and heading back into the bathroom. Chloe takes that time to control her breathing and when Beca returns fresh faced and fully clothed, Chloe says nothing. Beca collapses onto her side of the bed, lays under the covers and falls asleep. Chloe lays beside her, pretending not to be awake.

 

The next morning, Beca stops scanning the radio. She instead plugs in the aux cord and spends the first hour of the drive to nowhere arranging a playlist. As they drove in relative silence, Chloe chattered. She talked about stops they could make: Washington D.C. or Nashville, the Liberty Belle in Pennsylvania, or a pizzeria in Chicago, maybe even New York City for a few night. Beca doesn’t reply for a while, so Chloe decides. She changes direction and heads toward Nashville. After a while, Chloe lets the chatter stop and they lapse into silence.

 

There’s a small pocket in the driver’s side door, and Chloe has no idea why it’s there. It’s a small, rectangular depression in her door near the window controls. Maybe, at one point in time, it was meant to be an ash tray. But Chloe doesn’t think her car is that old. So maybe it’s just supposed to be a junk collector. Chloe keeps spare change in there. Any time she goes through a drive-thru or gets change back from the store, she dumps it in the little cup. So that way, whenever she can, she makes exact change. Chloe likes having her little change cup.

They’re driving down the highway after stopping for a few hours in Nashville. Beca was taking her turn driving to give Chloe a chance to rest as it got darker. Suddenly, a song came on and Beca blushed. She had been feeling brave when she added this song to the playlist, hoping the lyrics would do the talking for her. The change cup vibrated, shaking with the bass line.

**_I know that I’m not your type, and you’re not mine. But that’s alright._ **

“I kissed Jesse a few days ago,” Beca finally blurts. Chloe murmurs, shifting to look at Beca. She smiles bemusedly, yawning as she sits up.

**_You’re taking your freeway to the city life while I hit the back road to the countryside._ **

“I like this song,” she murmurs, rubbing at her eyes. Groaning, she sits up. “You did kiss Jesse a few days ago.”

“And I thought it was right. I thought it was what I was  _ supposed _ to do, like one of those stupid movies he loves. I messed up and I hurt him and he really cared for me. So I…” Beca huffs in frustration and runs a hand through her hair. “I did this big gesture to show him I cared and to apologize and I kissed him because I thought it’s what I was supposed to do to show him I cared but I felt… Nothing! Who choreographs an entire remix of songs and performs them at a national competition for someone unless they really care? Unless they  _ love _ them? But I…”

“You love him?” Chloe asks, clearing her throat. Her cheeks are pink and she wants  _ out _ of this car if they’re going to keep driving and talking about how much she loves Jesse.

_ “No!” _ Beca shrieks. “I don’t! That’s the point! I thought I did- I thought I was  _ supposed to _ but when I kissed him I felt  _ nothing _ !!”

“I… Beca, I’m not following.” Chloe speaks gently, like Beca is a rabid dog and she is approaching cautiously with her hand out, trying not to get bitten.

“I felt  _ nothing _ when I kissed him! I… His tongue was down my throat and it was  _ so _ clear that he felt good about it but I… felt… nothing,” she whispers. Her eyes are stuck on the road.

**_What do you want, do you want with me? I said what do you want, do you want with me?_ **

“So you didn’t like him the way you thought he would. It’s… We don’t always love people who we are supposed to love,” Chloe explains.

“And then I kissed  _ you _ ,” Beca adds. She doesn’t even act like she heard Chloe, staring intently at the highway. “I kissed you and I felt… everything.”

“Beca,” Chloe exhales, closing her eyes. “Beca… I…”

“And I don’t know what that  _ means _ because I can’t be  _ gay _ and you’re a girl! And… Jesse is a nice guy, and I should have loved him but I can’t. And I don’t know what to do. I just wanted to run away and go on a road trip to… escape. But you were the only one I wanted to go with, so I don’t know what to do. Because I… I just don’t know what I want anymore,” she whimpers. And the tears are falling so fast and Chloe doesn’t know how to comfort her.

“Beca, it’s okay. It’s okay to want someone different and to love someone different than you thought… We all have this… this picture of how our life is supposed to go. But it’s not always like the picture on the box. Life is… messy, and complicated and love-”

“Don’t, Chloe. Just… I need a second to think before we start using words like that,”  Beca sobs.

“Okay, then you should pull over so I can drive. Or you can breathe. Because this is getting unsafe,” Chloe argues. Obediently, Beca pulls off on the nearest exit and stops at a fast food restaurant. She gets out of the car and starts pacing in the back corner of the parking lot, chest heaving. Chloe grabs her keys, locks the car and follows Beca.

“I don’t- I-I-I… Chloe, I don’t know what I am  _ doing! _ ” she shrieks, pulling at her hair. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she has tears streaming down her cheeks. And Chloe’s heart is breaking.

“Nobody does, Becs. We just… We’re fumbling around in the dark, here,” she laughs. “Nobody knows what they’re doing, or why. We do what feels good. We do what we want. So what do you want, Beca?”

“No, no I don’t know,” Beca whimpers, resuming her pacing.

“What do you want? You asked me to come with you.  _ Me _ . Not Stacie, of Fat Amy, or Jessica, or Ashley. Not even Aubrey. You asked  _ me _ to come with you on this road trip and help you figure things out. So, I’m asking you why. What do you want here, Beca? With me? What do you want with me?” Chloe asks, her voice hardening. After a moment, she can’t help but laugh about that stupid song from the car. She wonders, briefly, if Beca had put it in the playlist intentionally. She didn’t start confessing until the song came on; Chloe figures it’s possible.

“I want… Chloe I want… I want  _ you _ ,” she chokes out. And just like that, she’s flying at Chloe to kiss her again. Beca pushes Chloe backwards until they’re up against the hood of Chloe’s car. And hands are roving and mouths are open and tongues are… everywhere. It’s hot, and it’s messy, and it’s needy. The entire time, Beca is playing that song over and over again in her head, glad she finally got it together and figured out what it is that she wants.


End file.
